50 Funny Dad Jokes on History

Get ready to travel through time with a hilarious twist! Our collection of dad jokes on history will have you laughing from the Stone Age to the Space Age. Whether it’s ancient civilizations or modern marvels, these jokes are the perfect blend of wit and wisdom. So, put on your historian’s hat and prepare for a journey through the ages where every punchline is a blast from the past. History has never been this funny!

·  Why was the math book sad during the Renaissance?

It had too many problems.

·  Why don’t we see any knights in shining armor anymore?

Because they all rusted.

·  Why did the scarecrow become a successful Pharaoh?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

·  How did the ancient Egyptians talk to each other?

They used hieroglyphics.

·  Why did the medieval knight always carry a pencil?

In case he needed to draw his sword.

·  Why was the Roman Empire so good at road building?

They knew all roads lead to Rome.

·  Why did the British Empire use tea as a secret weapon?

It always knew how to stir things up.

·  What did the American colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?

Tea-shirts.

·  Why did the Vikings always carry a bar of soap?

To have a clean fight.

·  How did Alexander the Great feel after conquering his empire?

He was on top of the world.

·  What do you call a Civil War reenactor who loves playing cards?

A poker face.

·  Why was the medieval musician always so happy?

Because he lived in the key of happiness.

·  Why did the archaeologist always have a bad day?

His job was in ruins.

·  What did the Mesopotamians write with?

Cuneiform pens.

·  Why did Cleopatra refuse to eat watermelon?

She was afraid of the seeds of doubt.

·  Why did the caveman always tell the best stories?

They were all rock-solid tales.

·  What do you call a famous prehistoric artist?

A cave-painter.

·  Why was King Arthur’s table so popular?

Because it was round-table discussions.

·  Why was the medieval castle always tidy?

Because it had a moat-vacuum.

·  How did the Roman barber cut hair?

With Caesar-s.

·  Why was the ancient marathon runner so good at jokes?

Because he had a running sense of humor.

·  Why did the ancient Greeks love geometry?

It kept their lives in line.

·  Why was the medieval blacksmith so popular?

He had a striking personality.

·  Why did the French Revolutionaries always get along?

They had a common guillotine.

·  What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?

Get in the boat.

·  Why did the samurai cross the road?

To get to the other side of honor.

·  Why did the Renaissance artist cross the road?

To get a better perspective.

·  What’s Napoleon’s favorite dessert?

Bonapetit.

·  Why was the medieval tailor so good at his job?

He always knew how to handle a knight’s tale.

·  Why did the Aztec eat the spicy food?

Because it was a real chilli-ization.

·  Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore?

Because they make up everything, even in history.

·  Why was the medieval knight never late?

Because he had a good lance.

·  Why did the cowboy join the ancient Greek army?

He wanted to be a myth.

·  Why was the Viking such a great musician?

He had great Norse-chestra skills.

·  Why was the medieval fair so successful?

It was a knight to remember.

·  Why did the ancient Roman go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling a bit Caesarean.

·  Why was the explorer always calm?

He had a lot of latitude.

·  Why did the medieval knight become a lawyer?

To practice jousting.

·  Why did the Romans build so many roads?

So they wouldn’t get stuck in Gaul.

·  Why did the prehistoric man go to school?

To improve his mammoth skills.

·  What do you call an ancient Egyptian doctor?

A Cairo-practor.

·  Why was the revolutionary so good at cards?

Because he had a revolutionary hand.

·  Why did the medieval peasants always stay in their huts?

Because they were serf-sufficient.

·  Why did the ancient astronomer bring a ladder?

To reach for the stars.

·  Why was the pirate a great historian?

Because he could sea the past.

·  Why did the medieval knight become a gardener?

To take care of his knightshade plants.

·  Why did the caveman get promoted?

Because he was a rock star at his job.

·  Why did the Roman gladiator refuse to fight?

He thought it was a bit of a stab in the dark.

·  Why did the medieval scribe always write so neatly?

Because he had good knightmanship.

·  Why did the ancient Greek go to the gym?

To work on his myths.

With these 50 dad jokes on history, we’ve traveled through time with laughter as our guide. From ancient civilizations to modern marvels, these jokes have uncovered the humor in our shared human story. At Dad Jokes Express, our humor spans beyond historical tales – just as history shapes our world, so too does the workplace shape our daily lives. Why not continue your journey with us and explore our collection of jokes on the workplace? Whether you’re navigating boardrooms or braving the daily grind, we’ve got jokes that’ll make your workday a bit more enjoyable!